Mother-a-Jaysis!!!

Mother-a-Jaysis!!! The queues at the post office this morning. I was there 10 minutes before opening and the queue to get in was huge. You'd swear they were giving out free money inside. It's only a post office for God's sake. I haven't been to a post office in 9 years. I had to renew my passport and, feck, how much the post office has changed. (Just noticed I've typed 'post office' a lot already so must refer to it by other names from here on in.)

After joining the end of the queue outside (at the time it was the end but not for long-just thought I'd point that out as may cause some confusion later) and, eventually, getting inside, I was like a hair caught in the floodlights. It was so futuristic. I wondered around inside for a bit, trying to figure out where to go for my dole money. I couldn't figure out what happened to the queue. It was working grand outside. Then as soon as the doors opened it crumbled like a bungalow of cards. I was in France once (don't ask) and that's what it was like in the post shop-chaos and garlic (without the garlic).

I saw this man who was behind me in the queue (he had joined the queue after me so I was, therefore, no longer at the end) go to the counter and do his business (not that you filth!! he just dropped off some parcels). It made me angry. I thought (I've been doing more and more of this thinking this past few weeks, internally) I thought I'm gonna confront him about jumping the queue (which no longer exists but I remember a time when it did-2 minutes ago YOU SHIT!!) But I decided against it as I'm a polite person who lives in a civilian society. Then when he walked away, I saw the counter clear so I stepped forward. Then this bitch steamed in front who had just strolled into the ...into the send things away department. SHE WASN'T PART OF THE QUEUE!! SHE WASN'T PART OF ANY QUEUE!!! I roared, internally. No one heard me.

The queue atheist finished up and I could see an aul wan inch toward the free counter, another feckin' queue deviant. Enough was enough and I had had enough of it. I jumped to the free counter (literally-it was a good 7 foot jump. In one:) Gave yer man the yellow slip they gave me at the welfare office. He asked me for my I.D. I said "Whaaaat?!" He said "We can't give you your benefits without photo I.D." I said "What like a driver's license?" He said.....well he didn't say anything just half closed his eyes, nodded and grunted something that sounded like "Tum-tum". I usually carry my driver's license with me when I'm driving. I searched my pockets, slapped me wallet on the counter as it was obstructing me root, and it wasn't bleedin' anywhere I needed it to be at that moment 1) In my hand 2) In yer man's hand, or 3) Somewhere in between. Because I hadn't driven to the letter depart port, I thought I'd save money on the petrol, about a quid. But, instead, IN-FUCKING-STEAD I'm €188 down!! How has that happened?!! How the feck did I manage that?!! I asked myself, externally. No time to think it through internally or externally as yer man with the head behind the counter was telling me "You'll have to come back later with photo I.D." That and the aul biddy beside me was prodding me with her umbrella going "You stole my number" or something like she's got my number or something about her pension. I can't remember clearly as I was too angry too communicate so I stormed out (not literally-the shop was relatively dry and lacked any wind-swept quality when I left).

I arrived home. First thing I did when I got home (here) was start this blog as I found it helps me relax and feel good. And it's worked again!! :).....Just realised I left me feckin' wallet on the bastardin counter in the ....in the.... in the queue-less and lawless postal wasteland.