FIASCO FRIDAY

Fiasco last Friday. I went back to the post office, wandered around again trying to find a queue. No luck. Even though the office was full of people standing around, sitting around and leaning on walls around. No queue. There must a been 50 people in there. I think most of them were getting benefits as well as they all had drivers licences or passports. It frightened the bollocks out off me (not literally). I thought: Is this what happens to you when you get unemployed?- Too lazy to queue. I decided I didn't want to live in a country that didn't have what it takes to form an ordained queue. I was making a stand. One man against the.......(just realised I mispelled organise-couldn't be arsed changing it).

My revolution was crushed by Colin Errol, the post office manager. He gave me my wallet and took me to one side (the entrance/exit) and explained the ticketing system they used there now. So, when I need to pick up my benefits or post a letter or .... (I can't think of anything else to do in a post office, either could he, bizarrely) I hit the electronic screen with the tip of my finger (not fist) and take the ticket with a number on it and wait for my number to be called. The manager demonstrated this for me and gave me his ticket. I laughed uncontrollably at my stupid and the fact that I thought the numbered announcements was a form of electro-dance. I assumed it was Kraftwerk's latest release. It wasn't. I cancelled my purchase on amazon. He didn't laugh. I think I may be the only person who has ever laughed in a post office. I must check the Guinness book of records. The manager said that the new system was better, quicker and more efficient (One of my favourite words that, efficient. I used to describe my business as efficient to our customers. They liked it. It's what they call a U.S.P.: Universal Selling Point). I looked at the ticketed number Colin gave me '269'. I looked at the last number called '82'. I leaned against the wall. Then I walked off. Hopefully I can get my first benefits next week as the wolves are scratching at the door and they've already devoured Little Red.